1.散文翻译鉴赏

（一）

（1） 乘骑至华阴庙。过华封里，即尧时三祝处。（2）庙内多秦槐汉柏，大皆三四抱，有槐中抱拍而生者，柏中抱槐而生者。殿廷古碑甚多，内有陈希夷书“福”、“寿”字。（3）华山之脚有玉泉院，即希夷先生化形骨蜕处。有石洞如斗室，塑先生卧像于石床。其地水净沙明，草多绛色，泉流甚急，修竹绕之。洞外一方亭，额曰“无忧亭”。（4）旁有古树三栋，纹如裂炭，叶似槐而色深，不知其名，土人即呼曰“无忧树”。（5）太华之高不知几千仞，惜未能裹粮往登焉。归途见林柿正黄，就马上摘食之，（6）土人呼止弗听，嚼之涩甚，急吐去，下骑觅泉漱口，始能言，土人大笑。盖柿须摘下煮一沸，始去其涩，余不知也。

十月初，琢堂自山东专人来接眷属，遂出潼关，由河南入鲁。山东济南府城内，西有大明湖，其中有历下亭、水香亭诸胜。夏月柳阴浓处，菡萏香来，载酒泛舟，极有幽趣。（7）余冬日往视，但见衰柳寒烟，一水茫茫而已。趵突泉为济南七十二泉之冠，（8）泉分三眼，从地底怒涌突起，势如腾沸。凡泉皆从上而下，此独从下而上，亦一奇也。池上有楼，供吕祖像，游者多于此品茶焉。明年二月，余就馆莱阳。至丁卯秋，琢堂降官翰林，余亦入都。所谓登州海市，竟无从一见。

——《浮生六记》卷四《浪游记快》

译文

One day we went on horseback to the Huayin Temple，passing through the Huafeng Village，the place where old Emperor Yao prayed three times for his people.There were at the Temple many locust trees dating back to the Qin Dynasty and cypress trees of the Han Dynasty，mostly 20 or 30 feet in circumference，some locust trees growing inside a cypress，and some cypresses growing inside a locust tree.There were any number of old stone inscriptions in different courtyards，with two in particular consisting of the two characters for “Good Fortune” and “Longevity” respectively written by Chen Hsiyi.There was a Jade Fountain Court at the foot of the Huashan Mountains where Chen had departed from this earth as a Taoist fairy.His image，in a couching position，lay on a stone bed in a very small cave.At this place，the water was very clear and the sands nice and clean; most of the vegetation was of a deep red color and there was a very swift mountain stream flowing through a thick bamboo grove.A square pavilion stood outside the cave with the signboard，“Carefree Pavilion”.By its side were three old trees，whose barks were cracked like broken coal and whose leaves resembled those of the locust tree，but were of a deeper color.I did not know their name，but the natives aptly and conveniently called them “care-free tress.” I have no idea how many thousand feet high the Huashan Mountains are and regret very much not having been able to pack up some dry provisions and go exploring them for a few days.On my way back I saw some wild persimmons，which were of a ripe color.I picked one from the tree while on horseback，and was going to eat it then and there.The native people tried to stop me，but I wouldn’t listen to them.Only after taking a bite did I find it to have a very harsh flavor.So much so that I quickly spat it out and had to come down from horseback and rinse my mouth at a spring before I could speak，to the great merriment of my native advisers.For persimmons should be boiled in order to take away their harsh flavor，but I learnt this a little too late.

At the beginning of the tenth moon，Chot’ang sent a special messenger to bring his family to shantung，and we left Tungkuan and came to Shantung by way of Honan.The Taming Lake is in the western part of Tsinan City in Shantung，with places of interest like the Li-hsia and Shuihsiang Pavilions.It was most enjoyable to go boating around the lake with a few bottles of wine，and enjoy the fragrance of lotus flowers under the cool shade of willow trees in summer.I went there，however，on a winter day and saw only a stretch of cold water against some sparse willow trees and a frosty sky.The Paotu Spring ranks first among the seventy-two springs of Tsinan.The spring consists of three holes with water gushing forth from underneath and bubbling up like a boiling cauldron，in strange contrast to other springs whose water usually flows downwards.There is a storied building on the pond，with an altar to Luchu inside，where the tourists used to stop and taste tea made from the spring water.In the second moon of the following year，I secured a position at Laiyang.When in the autumn of 1807，Chot’ang returned to the capital (Peking) and degraded as hanlin，I accompanied him there.And I never saw the so-called “mirage of Tengchow” (on the Shantung coast).

——林语堂译

译析

《浮生六记》是清朝长洲（今苏州）作家沈复的自传体散文，这部分节选自卷四《浪游记快》。对于这类古代散文的翻译，译者需要具备深厚的文字功底和文学素养。所谓“文字功底”，应包括汉语水平和英语水平，缺一不可。这段文字的英译，首先考查了译者对原文的正确理解。理解是翻译的基础，以下略举几例加以说明：

（1） 乘骑至华阴庙。过华封里，即尧时三祝处。

“乘骑”不难理解，古代的交通工具不可能是汽车，而应是马。如何理解“三祝”却是一个问题，汉语中“华封三祝”是一个成语，为祝颂之辞。典出《庄子.天地》：“尧观乎华。华封人曰：请祝圣人，使圣人富，使圣人寿，使圣人多男子。”在《汉英辞典》中，相应的表达是：congratulatory wishes of happiness，longevity and many posterities.

译文A　When we rode to Hua Yin Temple and after a while，we reached the place where Yao Emperor pressed three times.（“三祝”译为“pressed three times”）

译文B　After Hua Feng Li，we arrived at a place called Shan Zhu Chu when Yao was the emperor.（“三祝”译为Shan Zhu Chu）

译文C　I rode to Hua Yin Temple，crossed the Hua Fen Street and arrived at my destination.（避译“三祝”）

“祝”，其乃express good wishes.以上译文都没能揭示“三祝”的真实内涵，令人惋惜。

改译　One day we went on horseback to the Huayin Temple，passing through the Huafeng Village，the place where old Emperor Yao prayed three times for his people.

（2） 庙内多秦槐汉柏，大皆三四抱，有槐中抱柏而生者，柏中抱槐而生者。

三十个字，就写出了庙里古木参天，树中有树的奇观。但如果译者的英文功力欠缺，译文就无法达到这样的表现力。

译文A　A lot of trees stood in the temple，there were “Bai” trees living very close in the “arms” of the “Huai” trees，also “Huai” trees in the “arms” of the “Bao” trees.（“柏”译为“Bai” trees，“槐”译为 “Huai” trees，“抱柏”、“抱槐”译为 “in the arms of...”）

译文B　Being as big as three to four man’s embracing，they were growing inside each other.（英译简练，含义大概唯有译者自知。）

改译　There were at the Temple many locust trees dating back to the Qin Dynasty and cypress trees of the Han Dynasty，mostly 20 or 30 feet in circumference，some locust trees growing inside a cypress，and some cypresses growing inside a locust tree.

为了保持句子平衡，译者把介词短语at the Temple提前，避免了头重脚轻。“三四抱”很形象，是指三四个双臂合围的度量，即三四个人展开双臂才能把树围起来。译文很巧妙地处理为“20 or 30 feet in circumference”，用英文中的度量单位来描述，语言堪称地道。

（3） 华山之脚有玉泉院，即希夷先生化形骨蜕处。

译文A　At the foot of Mount Hua，there was a Yuquan Yard where Mr.Chen ended his life.（end one’s life =自杀）

译文B　Yuquan Temple was located at the foot of Mount Hua where Mr.Chen became very bony.（“化形蜕骨”译为became very bony）

改译　There was a Jade Fountain Court at the foot of the Huashan Mountains where Chen had departed from this earth as a Taoist fairy.

“化形”原指神话传说中妖魔鬼怪变化形状，这里意指希夷先生“仙逝”；“蜕骨”多指道教徒灵魂升天后的骸骨。译者将“化形骨蜕”译为“departed from earth as a Taoist fairy”，足见其对中国文化十分了解。

（4） 旁有古树三栋，纹如裂炭，叶似槐而色深。

译文　By its side were three old trees，whose barks were cracked like broken coal and whose leaves resembled those of the locust tree，but were of a deeper color.

译文中“By its side”介词短语位于句首引起倒装，再用两个“whose”引导定语从句，造句地道，句式丰富，充分展现了译者的英文功力。

（5） 太华之高不知几千仞，惜未能裹粮往登焉。

译文 A　The height of Taihua is measured thousands of kilometers.(one thousand kilometers 相当于一百万米）

译文B　 Moutain Hua was thousands of miles high.

“仞”是古时常用的计量高度的单位，约七八尺为一仞，有“万仞高山”一说。译文A和B将其译为kilometer或mile，实属缺乏常识，有这么高的山峰吗？

译文C　The height of Hua Mountain was unknown.It was a pity that we didn’t climb up it with our luggages.（“裹”字译成了luggages）

译文D　 I regret not to be able to pack up and climb the mountain.（“裹”字译成了to pack up）

“裹粮”一词令人蹙额，实为携带熟食干粮，以备出征或远行。

改译　I have no idea how many thousand feet high the Huashan Mountains are and regret very much not having been able to pack up some dry provisions and go exploring them for a few days.

（6） 土人呼止弗听，嚼之涩甚，急吐去，下骑觅泉漱口，始能言，土人大笑。盖柿须摘下煮一沸，始去其涩，余不知也。

美国翻译理论家奈达曾提出，就汉语和英语而言，在语言学上最重要的一个区别在于形合与意合的对比。汉语多用“意合”，而英语则多用“形合”。如何正确判断汉语原句的逻辑内涵，译成地道的英语形合句却成了一个问题。翻译这段话，英语连接词的使用尤为重要。

试译　The local residents asked me not to eat it.I still put it in my mouth chewing.The persimmon was too spicy to eat.I threw it away immediately and went down from the horse，trying to find some water to wash the spicy-taste in my mouth.During this time，I could hardly say a word.The residents laughed at me and told me the yellow persimmon could not be eaten until it was boiled to get rid of the spicy when it was just picked from the tree.I did not know this.（本段译文共六句，使用的连接词仅有第五句中的until/when而已。）

改译　The native people tried to stop me，but I wouldn’t listen to them.Only after taking a bite did I find it to have a very harsh flavor.So much so that I quickly spat it out and had to come down from horseback and rinse my mouth at a spring before I could speak，to the great merriment of my native advisers.For persimmons should be boiled in order to take away their harsh flavor，but I learnt this a little too late.

此译文中连接词“but”，“only after”，“before”等连接词理清了句子与句子之间的内在逻辑关系，做到了“形合”。

（7） 余冬日往视，但见衰柳寒烟，一水茫茫而已。

汉语是一种意境语言，三言两语，就能出景、出情、出情景交融的画面，而英语是注重分析性和逻辑性语言。因此，处理“意境性”汉语，译者往往心有余而力不足。那么，本句中“衰柳寒烟”、“一水茫茫”怎么译呢？

译文A　I went there in winter and could see nothing but unanimated trees and smokes.There is only a range of poor water.（“柳”译为unanimated trees，”寒烟”译为“smokes”，“a range of poor water”更是让人百思不得其解。）

译文B　While in winter，nothing was enjoyable but the lonely willows and quiet water.（译者理解有误，难道“lonely willows and quiet water”会“enjoyable”？）

改译　I went there，however，on a winter day and saw only a stretch of cold water against some sparse willow trees and a frosty sky.

此译堪称扬英语之长，译出了水平，一个介词“against”更是令人寻味。当然，与原句“衰柳寒烟”、“一水茫茫”相比，“a stretch of cold water against some sparse willow trees and a frosty sky”也只是重在写实，无法传达出汉语的韵律之美、意境之美。

（8） 泉分三眼，从地底怒涌突起，势如腾沸。

汉语言简意赅，意境极强，寥寥数字，便能够勾勒出一幅画面，“从地底怒涌突起”便是这样。“怒涌”二字，即在读者眼前呈现水势汹涌，水花飞溅的意境。

译文A　It was composed of three existing parts，jumping angrily from other ordinary ones running from top to bottom.（译文结构混乱，“怒涌突起”被死译为jumping angrily.不知native speakers能否接受，angrily能让他们产生美的联想吗？）

译文B　It had three holes，from which the water sprouted vigorously.（vigorously比上句的angrily用得好，但动词sprout的含义是“长出、发芽”，奔涌而出的泉水居然如职务发芽般地涌出。）

改译　The spring consists of three holes with water gushing forth from underneath and bubbling up like a boiling cauldron.

（二）

（1） 我们屋后有半亩隙地。母亲说：“让它荒芜着怪可惜，既然你们那么爱吃花生，就辟来做花生园罢。”我们几姊弟和几个小丫头都很喜欢——买种的买种，动土的动土，灌园的灌园；过不了几个月，居然收获了。

（2） 妈妈说：“今晚我们可以做一个收获节，也请你们爹爹来尝尝我们的新花生，如何?”我们都答应了。母亲把花生做成好几样食品，还吩咐这节期要在园里的茅亭举行。

那晚上的天色不大好，可是爹爹也到来，实在很难得！爹爹说：“你们爱吃花生么?”

我们都争着答应：“爱!”

（3） “谁能把花生的好处说出来?”

姊姊说：“花生的气味很美。”

哥哥说：“花生可以制油。”

我说：“无论何等人都可以用贱价买它来吃；都喜欢吃它。这就是它的好处。”

爹爹说：“花生的用处固然很多；但有一样是很可贵的。（4）这小小的豆不像那好看的苹果、桃子、石榴，把它们的果实悬在枝上，鲜红嫩绿的颜色，令人一望而发生羡慕的心。它只把果子埋在地底，等到成熟，才容人把它挖出来。你们偶然看见一棵花生瑟缩地长在地上，不能立刻辨出它有没有果实，非得等到你接触它才能知道。”

我们都说：“是的。”母亲也点点头。爹爹接下去说：“所以你们要像花生，因为它是有用的，不是伟大、好看的东西。”我说：“那么，人要做有用的人，不要做伟大、体面的人了。”爹爹说：“这是我对于你们的希望。”

我们谈到夜阑才散，所有花生食品虽然没有了，然而父亲的话现在还印在我心版上。

——许地山

译文A

The Peanut

At the back of our house there was half a mu of unused land.“It’s a pity to let it lie waste like that，” Mother said.“Since you all enjoy eating peanuts，let us open it up and make it a peanut garden.” At that my brother，sister and I were all delighted and so were the young housemaids.And then some went to buy seeds，some began to dig the ground and others watered it and，in a couple of months，we had a harvest!

“Let us have a party tonight to celebrate，” Mother suggested，“and ask Dad to come for a taste of our fresh peanuts.What do you say?” We all agreed，of course.Mother cooked the peanuts in different styles and told us to go to the thatched pavilion in the garden for the celebration.

The weather was not very good that night but，to our great delight，Dad came all the same.“Do you like peanuts?” Dad asked.

“Yes!” we all answered eagerly.

“But who can tell me what the peanut is good for?”

“It is very delicious to eat，” my sister took the lead.

“It is good for making cooking oil，” my brother followed.

“It is inexpensive.” I said.“Almost everyone can afford it and everyone enjoys eating it.I think this is what it is good for.”

“Peanut is good for many things，” Dad said，“but there is one thing that is particularly good about it.Unlike apples，peaches and pomegranates that display their fruits up in the air，attracting you with their beautiful colors，peanut buries its fruit in the earth.It does not show itself until you dig it out when it is ripe and，unless you dig it out，you can’t tell whether it bears fruit or not just by its frail stems above ground.”

“That’s true，” we all said and Mother nodded her assent，too.“So you should try to be like the peanut，” Dad went on，“because it is useful，though not great or attractive.”

“Do you mean，” I asked，“we should learn to be useful but not seek to be great or attractive?”

“Yes，” Dad said.“This is what I wish you to be.”

We stayed up late that night，eating all the peanuts Mother had cooked for us.But Father’s words remained vivid in my memory till this day.

——刘士聪译(www.daowen.com)

译文B

Peanuts

Behind our house there lay half a mou vacant land.Mother said: “It’s a pity to let it lie waste.Since you all like to eat peanuts so much，why not plant some here?” That exhilarated us children and our servant girls as well，and soon we started buying seeds，ploughing the land and watering the plants.We gathered in a good harvest just after a couple of months!

Mother said，“How about giving a party this evening to celebrate the harvest and inviting your Daddy to have a taste of our newly-harvested peanuts?” We all agreed.Mother made quite a few varieties of goodies out of the peanuts，and told us that the party would be held in the thatched pavilion on the peanut plot.

It looked like rain that evening，yet，to our great joy，father came nevertheless.“Do you like peanuts?” asked father.

“Yes，we do!” we vied in giving the answer.

“Which of you could name the good things in peanuts?”

“Peanuts taste good，” said my elder sister.

“Peanuts produce edible oil，” said my elder sister.

“Peanuts are so cheap，” said I，“that anyone can afford to eat them.Peanuts are everyone’s favourite.That’s why we call peanuts good.”

“It’s true that peanuts have many uses，” said father，“but they’re most beloved in one respect.Unlike nice-looking apples，peaches，and pomegranates，which hang their fruit on branches and win people’s admiration with their brilliant colours，tiny little peanuts bury themselves underground and remain unearthed until they’re ripe.When you come upon a peanut plant lying curled up on the ground，you can never immediately tell whether or not it bears any nuts until you touch them.”

“That’s true，” we said in unison.Mother also nodded.“So you must take after peanuts，”father continued，“because they’re useful though not great and nice-looking.”

“Then you mean one should be useful rather than great and nice-looking，” I said.

“That’s what I expect of you，” father concluded.

We kept chatting until the party broke up late at night.Today，though nothing is left of the goodies made of peanuts，father’s words remain engraved in my mind.

——张培基译

译析

《落花生》是著名作家和翻译家许地山的一篇散文，深受广大读者喜爱。作者回忆了童年时代的一个生活片段，语言朴实、清新而自然。文中的父亲借平凡的花生，讲述人生的道理，深入浅出，富于哲理。与沈复的自传体散文相比，这篇散文通俗易懂，一般不会存在理解上的障碍。翻译这样的文章，需要注意原文作者的语言风格，讲究译文的遣词造句、谋篇布局，“篇中不能有冗章，章中不能有冗句，句中不能有冗语。”（林纾）因此，译者必须辨别文章的文体色彩，熟悉不同文体的语言风格，在遣词造句上下工夫，真实地再现原文的语言风格。刘士聪（译文A）和张培基（译文B）深谙此理，精心营构，其译文各有千秋。请看以下几例：

（1） 我们屋后有半亩隙地。母亲说：“让它荒芜着怪可惜，既然你们那么爱吃花生，就辟来做花生园罢。”我们几姊弟和几个小丫头都很喜欢——买种的买种，动土的动土，灌园的灌园；过不了几个月，居然收获了。

译文A　① At the back of our house there ② was half a mu of unused land.“It’s a pity to let it ④ lie waste like that，” ③ Mother said.“Since you all ⑤ enjoy eating peanuts，let us open it up and make it a peanut garden.” At that ⑥ my brother，sister and I were all delighted and so were the young housemaids.And then some went to buy seeds，some began to dig the ground and others watered it ⑦ and，in a couple of months，we had a harvest!

译文B　① Behind our house there ② lay half a mou vacant land.③ Mother said: “It’s a pity to let it ④ lie waste.Since you all ⑤ like to eat peanuts so much，why not plant some here?” That exhilarated ⑥ us children and our servant girls as well，and soon we started buying seeds，ploughing the land and watering the plants.We ⑦gathered in a good harvest just after a couple of months!

分析　①“屋后”从逻辑上讲应该是房子的“后面”Behind，而不是房间的“后部”At the back of。②“有一亩空地”用lay比用was更具动感。③ 文中妈妈说的话很长，译文A把Mother said放在句中作为插入语，使句子的结构更加平衡也更符合英文的行文特点。④“荒芜着”表示一种状态，译作lie waste已很好地表达出原意，但译文A却在其后加了like that，使译文口语色彩更加浓厚，上下句的衔接更加自然。⑤“爱吃花生”表达的是一种习惯，而like to eat一般表示某次心血来潮的想法。因此，enjoy eating比like to eat更合适。⑥ 在翻译“我们几姊弟”时，译文A将其具体化为my brother，sister and I，不仅使译文在叙事形式上符合英语的审美要求，而且在意义上尽得原文之旨；而译文B译为us children则简洁笼统。⑦“居然”一词的翻译也值得一提，《新华字典》对“居然”的解释为“副词，竟，出乎意料地”。通常情况下，译者会直译为unexpectedly或surprisingly或to our surprise，这都是可以接受的，也忠于原文。但译文A用了一个and，很自然地连接了上下句，而且轻松、巧妙地将原文出乎预料的语气化解到句中，艺术效果堪与原文媲美。

1.妈妈说：“今晚我们可以做一个收获节，也请你们爹爹来尝尝我们的新花生，如何?”我们都答应了。母亲把花生做成好几样食品，还吩咐这节期要在园里的茅亭举行。那晚上的天色不大好，可是爹爹也到来，实在很难得！

译文A　① “Let us have a party tonight to celebrate，” Mother suggested，“and ask Dad to come for a taste of our ② fresh peanuts.What do you say?” We all agreed，of course.Mother ③ cooked the peanuts in different styles and told us to go to the thatched pavilion in the garden for the celebration.The weather was not very good that night but，④to our great delight，Dad came all the same.

译文B　Mother said，“① How about giving a party this evening to celebrate the harvest and ② inviting your Daddy to have a taste of our newly-harvested peanuts?” We all agreed.Mother ③ made quite a few varieties of goodies out of the peanuts，and told us that the party would be held in the thatched pavilion on the peanut plot.It looked like rain that evening，yet，④ to our great joy，father came nevertheless.

分析　① 妈妈建议做一个收获节的时候，译文A用了Let us，ask，What do you say，与原文不增不减，但却显得妈妈语气生硬，尤其what do you say“翻译腔”很重；译文B 用How about 和invite 显得妈妈说话比较温和。② 在表示“新”花生时，译文A中的fresh虽然没有错，可是不如译文B的newly-harvested地道。③ 表达“母亲把花生做成好几样食品”，译文A译成“用不同的方法做花生”cooked the peanuts in different styles不如译文B made quite a few varieties of goodies贴切。goodies指“好吃的东西”，常用于口语，复合整篇文章的语言风格。④ 最后一句“也”和“实在难得”的感叹，可见爹爹在家中的地位，但要把这种内涵意义翻译出来不大容易。首先，“实在难得”是原文的语义重点，其主语是另一个语义重点“可是爹爹也到来”这一事实，但英汉语言结构的差异决定了译文不可能从形式上与原文表达对等；其次，如何翻译“也”字，决定了能否准确地将原文的语气表达出来。译文A、B将“实在难得”译成一个插入语to our great delight/joy来表达原文的语义重点，充分体现了译者谙熟英汉语之区别。此外，译文A all the same也淋漓尽致地传达出“也”所包含的语气，较之译文B nevertheless要好一些。

2.“谁能把花生的好处说出来?”

……

我说：“……这就是它的好处。”

爹爹说：“花生的用处固然很多……”

译文A　“But who can tell me what the peanut is good for?”

...

“I think this is what it is good for.”

“Peanut is good for many things，” Dad said...

译文B　“Which of you could name the good things in peanuts?”

...

“...That’s why we call peanuts good.”

“It’s true that peanuts have many uses，” said father，...

分析　原文中“花生的好处”、“花生的用处”，在汉语中只是一个词组，一般情况下，译者会把它译成对应的英语词组，如译文B中good things in peanuts，call peanuts good，have many uses.译文A采取了一个语义对应的英语句式，准确充分地翻译了原文的意思，运用这个句式，语意十分连贯。

3.这小小的豆不像那好看的苹果、桃子、石榴，把它们的果实悬在枝上，鲜红嫩绿的颜色，令人一望而发生羡慕的心。它只把果子埋在地底，等到成熟，才容人把它挖出来。你们偶然看见一棵花生瑟缩地长在地上，不能立刻辨出它有没有果实，非得等到你接触它才能知道。

译文A　Unlike apples，peaches and pomegranates that display their fruits up in the air，attracting you with their beautiful colors，peanut buries its fruit in the earth.It does not show itself until you dig it out when it is ripe and，unless you dig it out，you can’t tell whether it bears fruit or not just by its frail stems above ground.

译文B　Unlike nice-looking apples，peaches，and pomegranates，which hang their fruit on branches and win people’s admiration with their brilliant colours，tiny little peanuts bury themselves underground and remain unearthed until they’re ripe.When you come upon a peanut plant lying curled up on the ground，you can never immediately tell whether or not it bears any nuts until you touch them.

分析　这段赞扬花生的议论哲理性很强，翻译难度也较大。整段议论视角变化大，爹爹分别从“这小小的豆”、“苹果、桃子、石榴”、“它”、“你们”等不同角度评论花生的好处。如果按照原文句子结构套译，则可能造成译文的逻辑混乱。译文A、B均打破了原文句子的限制，从整个段落出发，对原文的概念进行重组，对视角进行调整，对语序进行改变。虽然译文与原文在字面上有一定的距离，但却不失原文本意。

4.“说”字的翻译

译文A　say（五次），suggest，ask（两次），take the lead，follow，go on

译文B　say（八次），ask，continue，conclude

分析　原文中一共用了十一个“说”字，这种重复词语的现象在汉语中很常见。但英语却忌讳这种现象，尽量采用省略、替代等方法避免重复。译文A、B根据不同语境、情景，分别用了不同的词或词组，将原文中“说”的概念准确地翻译出来，前后照应，契合无间。

综上所述，翻译不是对原文的简单复制，而是一种再创造，它要求译者要像作家一样善于炼词、炼句。唯有重视对字句的锤炼，原文之神韵才能得以完美再现，是为“大处着眼，小处着手”之理。

（三）

The Weather in His Soul

Let me come to the point boldly; what governs the Englishman is his inner atmosphere，the weather in his soul.It is nothing particularly spiritual or mysterious.When he has taken his exercise and is drinking his tea or his beer and lighting his pipe; when，in his garden or by his fire，he sprawls in an aggressively comfortable chair; when well-washed and well-brushed，he resolutely turns in church to the east and recites the Creed (with genuflexions，if he likes genuflexions) without in the least implying that he believes one word of it; when he hears or sings the most crudely sentimental and thinnest of popular songs，unmoved but not disgusted; when he makes up his mind who is his best friend or his favorite poet; when he adopts a party or a sweetheart; when he is hunting or shooting or boating，or striding through the fields; when he is choosing his clothes or his profession—never is it a precise reason，or purpose，or outer fact that determines him; it is always the atmosphere of his inner man.

To say that this atmousphere was simply a sense of physical wellbeing，of coursing blood and a prosperous digestion，would be far too gross; for while psychic weather is all that，it is also a witness to some settled disposition，some ripening inclination for this or that，deeply rooted in the soul.It gives a sense of direction in life which is virtually a code of ethics，and a religion behind religion.On the other hand，to say it was the vision of any ideal or allegiance to any principle would be making it far too articulate and abstract.The inner atmosphere，when compelled to condense into words，may precipitate some curt maxim or over-simple theory as a sort of war-cry; but its puerile language does it injustice，because it broods at a much deeper level than language or even thought.It is a mass of dumb instincts and allegiances，the love of a certain quality of life，to be maintained manfully.It is pregnant with many a stubborn assertion and rejection.It fights under its trivial fluttering opinions like a smoking battleship under its flags and signals; you must consider，not what they are，but why they have been hoisted and will not be lowered.One is tempted at times to turn away in despair from the most delightful acquaintance—the picture of manliness，grace，simplicity，and honour，apparently rich in knowledge and humor—because of some enormous platitude he reverts to，some hopelessly stupid little dogma from which one knows that nothing can ever liberate him.The reformer must give him up; but why should one wish to reform a person so much better than oneself? He is like a thoroughbred horse，satisfying to the trained eye，docile to the light touch，and coursing in most wonderful unison with you through the open world.What do you care what words he uses? And you are impatient with the lark because he sings rather than talks? And if he could talk，would you be irritated by his curious opinions? Of course，if any one positively asserts what is contrary to fact，there is an error，though the error may be harmless; and most divergences between men should interest us rather than offend us，because they are effects of perspective，or of legitimate diversity in experience and interests.Trust the man who hesitates in his speech and is quick and steady in action，but beware of long arguments and long beards.Jupiter decided the most intricate questions with a nod，and a very few words and no gestures suffice for the Englishman to make his inner mind felt most unequivocally when occasion requires.

Instinctively the Englishman is no missionary，no conqueror.He prefers the country to the town，and home to foreign parts.He is rather glad and relieved if only natives will remain natives and strangers，and at a comfortable distance from himself.Yet outwardly he is most hospitable and accepts almost anybody for the time being; he travels and conquers without a settled design，because he has the instinct of exploration.His adventures are all external; they change him so little that he is not afraid of them.He carries his English weather in his heart wherever he goes，and it becomes a cool spot in the desert，and a steady and sane oracle amongst all the deliriums of mankind.Never since the heroic days of Greece has the world had such a sweet，just，boyish master.It will be a black day for the human race when scientific blackguards，conspirators，churls，and fanatics manage to supplant him.

——George Santayana

译文

英国人灵魂的天气

让我直截了当地谈正题吧：左右着英国人言行举止的是他内在的情调，是他灵魂的气象。而这内在的情调或灵魂的天气并不是宗教精神的，也不是神秘莫测的。设想在他运动之余品茶或喝酒，并且点着烟斗时；或在花园里或壁炉旁懒洋洋地躺在舒适的安乐椅上；或者在他精心梳洗之后，在教堂里毅然转向东方背诵（跪诵，假如他喜欢跪诵）信经，但丝毫也不意味着他相信其中的只言片语时；或者在他听着或哼着最低俗感伤、最浅薄的流行歌曲，虽然无动于衷但也并不讨厌时；或者他在确定谁是他最好的朋友或最喜爱的诗人时；或者在他选择一个群体或一个恋人时；或者在他打猎、射击、划船或大踏步走过田野时；或者在他挑选服装或选择职业时——在他做着这一切的时候，从来都不是因为某一个确定的理由，或目的，或外界的事物，而总是他内在的情调在起决定作用。

若说这一内在的情调仅仅是对于身体状况、血液循环和消化功能的感觉，那未免过于粗浅；因为，尽管如此，灵魂的天气毕竟是某种稳定的气质，某种日臻成熟的非此即彼的心理倾向的见证，而这种倾向是根植于灵魂的深处的。它给人以生活的方向感，实则是一种道德准则，一种宗教背后的宗教。亦或说它是对于任何理想的见识或对于任何原则的忠实，那就把它说得过于雄辩也过于抽象了。这个内在的情调，假如必须用语言来表述的话，可以凝结成一句战斗口号似的简短的格言或简单的理论；但那幼稚的语言并不能把它表述清楚，因为它孕育在比语言，甚至比思想还要深得多的层次上。它是一团朦胧的本能和朦胧的忠诚的结合体，是对某种生活品质的爱，需要勇敢地予以保持的。它有时执意坚持很多观点，有时也固执地摈弃很多意见。它在各种微妙的、涌动于内心的见解的驱动之下进行战斗，就像一艘喷吐滚滚浓烟的战舰在各种旗帜和信号的指挥之下进行战斗一样；你所要考虑的不是这些旗帜和信号是什么，而是它们既然已经升起就不再降落这是为什么。有时人会绝望地抛弃最让人感到快活的相识——充满男子汉气概、儒雅，单纯、富有正义感，显然是一幅知识渊博和具有幽默感的形象——因为他有时会变得平庸不堪，陷入愚蠢的小小教条之中而不能自拔。想改变别人的人千万不要干涉他；但为什么偏要改变一个比自己好得多的人呢？何况他就像是一匹英国纯种马，在内行人看来无可挑剔，轻轻一拍就能领会你的意图，载着你穿越空旷的原野，和你完全融为一体。至于他说话时如何措辞，那有什么关系？你会因为云雀只会唱歌而不会说话就对他不耐烦吗？假使他会说话，你会对他那些奇怪的念头感到恼火吗？当然，假如有人武断地坚持与事实相反的意见，那肯定是错误的，虽然这错误未必有害；再说，人们之间有分歧应该引起我们的兴趣，而不应伤害我们的感情，因为这些分歧是由于看问题的角度不同，或者由于经验和兴趣的多样性而引起的，而这种多样性总是合乎情理的。应当信任那些言语迟疑但行动迅速而坚定的人，但是要警惕那些喜欢无休止地进行争论的人和长着长胡子的人。即便面对最棘手的问题，朱庇特一点头就决定了，而当情况需要的时候，英国人只需三言两语而无需比比划划，就能使人准确无误地了解他的内心世界。

就本能而言，英国人不是传教士，不是征服者。他宁愿待在乡村，而不愿住在城市，宁愿待在家里，而不愿去陌生的地方。如果能做到本地人是本地人，陌生人是陌生人，而且和他自己保持一个舒适的距离，他会感觉很高兴，很轻松。而在外表上，他又非常好客，几乎任何人他都可以暂时地悦纳；他旅行，他征服，而没有一成不变的计划，因为喜欢探索是他的本能。他的冒险活动都是外向的，对他自己几乎没有什么影响，所以他不怕冒险。无论他走到哪里，他在心里总是怀着他的“英国人心中的气象”——它是沙漠里一个清凉的处所，是人类的谵妄之中一个稳定而明智的圣堂。自从希腊的英雄时代以来，走遍世界大概也很难碰到如此甜蜜可爱、有正义感和孩子气的主人了。对于人类而言，倘若以科学上的无赖、阴谋家、吝啬鬼和狂热之徒取而代之，那么这世界真的会变得暗无天日了。

——刘士聪译

分析

乔治·桑塔雅那是西班牙著名哲学家、美学家。虽然多年在美国接受教育并从事学术活动，但因为他的西班牙血统，和他对美国社会的深刻认识，他对古希腊传统和欧洲文明有着衷心的喜爱。这篇写英国人性格的散文，思想异常深刻而比喻贴切新颖，观察洞悉入微而语言流畅自然，可谓英语文学中的名篇。翻译这样一篇散文，自然要求一种特别的翻译方法和适当的翻译文体。这篇译文，可谓细微而达旨，委曲而流畅，细心阅读，总给人以美的享受。

首先一个问题是标题和开题几句的翻译。因为作者借助英国人对于天气的偏好，用weather（天气）和atmosphere（大气）与soul（灵魂）和inner（内在自我）构成基本的比喻性搭配，即his inner atmosphere和the weather in his soul，同时指出它既不是宗教意义上的精神（spiritual），也没有神秘到莫测的地步（mysterious）。根据这种理解，再加上仔细的推敲，以兼有专业意思和文学意味的“气象”来译atmosphere，而把weather从“情绪”推至“情调”，这样就产生了“内在的情调”和“灵魂的天气”两个基本词组，作为全篇的比喻基调。这样，标题只不过是一个扩充性说法而已——“英国人灵魂的天气”。

比喻的贴切和精妙是桑塔雅那散文的特点之一，译文采用尊重原作形象，适当发挥想像的译法，使抽象的思想明白可感，跃然纸上。请看以下两个例子：

1.原文　It fights under its trivial fluttering opinions like a smoking battleship under its flags and signals; you must consider，not what they are，but why they have been hoisted and will not be lowered.

译文　它在各种微妙的、涌动于内心的见解的驱动之下进行战斗，就像一艘喷吐滚滚浓烟的战舰在各种旗帜和信号的指挥之下进行战斗一样；你所要考虑的不是这些旗帜和信号是什么，而是他们既然已经升起就不再降落这是为什么。

分析　这个是以战舰比喻英国人的性格中的倾向，单一而复杂。只要想一下英国曾经有过的海上霸权地位，就知道这一比喻是何等地贴切而神妙。而译笔的流畅达意与发挥汉语优势的关系，以及译者恰到好处地运用文学想像力，都是显而易见的。

2.原文　He is like a thoroughbred horse，satisfying to the trained eye，docile to the light touch，and coursing in most wonderful unison with you through the open world.

译文　何况他就像是一匹英国纯种马，在内行人看来无可挑剔，轻轻一拍就能领会你的意图，载着你穿越空旷的原野，和你完全融为一体。

分析　一想起英国人喜欢赛马，就知道第二个比喻把英国人比作纯种马，并从纯种马的角度来理解人与人的关系，是一种多么富有暗示性的哲理阐发。而译文在不中断叙述顺序的同时，也就顺乎自然地营造了一种天人合一的崇高意境了。

观察的仔细和运思的精密，反映在行文的流畅和思绪的激荡里，莫过于一连串的现象和逐渐推向一个普遍性结论的能力。这便是第一段的行文特点。在翻译上有限度地改变原文连续使用的“when...”结构，但同时保持原文分节停顿的分号“;”，可使全段文字产生统一中有变化的审美情趣。同事，长句开头处加一“设想”进行提示，列举结束时用一般破折号“——”引出下面的译文，就起到了把多归结为……的收尾作用了。

到了全篇结束的时候，同样的写作手法又出现了。不过这里是结合了比喻在内的多种归一，与现代文明的贫瘠和苍白相比，作者的荒漠甘泉和俗地圣堂两个比喻，把思想的境界推到了一个至高无上的地步。译文把become（变为）译为“是”字隐喻结构，加强了这两个比喻的收尾性效果，为全篇结束时把英国人的性格纳入希腊以来的文明史上的一种成就，起到了有利的铺垫作用。

原文　He carries his English weather in his heart wherever he goes，and it becomes a cool spot in the desert，and a steady and sane oracle amongst all the deliriums of mankind.

译文　无论他走到哪里，他在心里总是怀着他的“英国人心中的天气”——它是沙漠里一个清凉的处所，是人类的谵妄之中一个稳定而明智的圣堂。

玄思与想像的结合是造就哲人式的文学家的一个必要的条件，也是构成桑塔雅那这篇散文的个性化风格的一种成因。译者充分注意到了这一点，可以说这是译文成功的一个重要因素。词汇层面上一个明显的标志就是，原文采用专门术语的地方，就尽量译为专门术语，而原文采用文学语言的地方，就尽量译为文学语言。而在句法层面上，则较多地改英文比较直率的语气为汉语比较委婉的语气，比如假设、虚指、让步、设问、反问、重复、提示等手段，甚至包括少量文言虚词的使用，旨在有助于造成中文散文波澜起伏、一唱三叹的审美趣味。

以下列出一些典型例句，并附以必要的提示。

原文　Let me come to the point boldly; what governs the Englishman is his inner atmosphere，the weather in his soul.

译文　让我直截了当地谈正题吧：左右着英国人言行举止的是他内在的情调，是他灵魂的气象。（重复）

原文　To say that this atmosphere was simply a sense of physical well-being，of coursing blood and a prosperous digestion，would be far too gross.

译文　若说这一内在的情调仅仅是对于身体状况、血液循环和消化功能的感觉，则未免过于粗浅。（文言虚词、假设语气、委婉讽喻）

原文　The reformer must give him up; but why should one wish to reform a person so much better than oneself?

译文　想改变别人的人千万不要干涉他；为什么偏要改变一个比自己好得多的人呢？（假设语气、词类转换、生活用语）

一篇散文的成功写作，其因素是多方面的。同样，一篇散文的成功翻译，也要求译者具有多方面的功底和修养。译者和作者在语言能力、文学修养、气质习性上相一致的地方越多，则译文就越成功、越自然。