1.有效的人际沟通

人总是生活在一定的社会关系中，总要同周围的人交往，这就需要掌握沟通的技巧。沟通得好，单位和个人就气顺劲足，工作效率高；反之，相互间就会互相掣肘，影响工作。“感人心者，莫先乎情”。沟通不仅是一种信息的交流，更应是一种感情的传递。沟通不能只谈工作，不谈思想，而应敞开心扉，开诚布公，交真心、谈真话、以心换心，这样才能增进相互感情，架起相互信任的桥梁，使沟通成为增强团结的粘合剂。具体来讲，就是要做到“三多”，即“多记他人的好处，多看他人的长处，多想他人的难处”；还要把住“三不”，即“不自私、不猜疑、不嫉妒”。即便在沟通中遇到矛盾和问题，自己也要主动承担化解，即使有时自己占理，但只要不是原则问题，也不能“得理不饶人”，而应以宽容大度的胸怀赢得对方的理解和支持，使同事间感情在有效的沟通中得以巩固和加强。

沟通还要注意平等交流。沟通不是下命令、发指示，而要谈想法，讲道理，以理服人，不能以势压人。双方在平等基础上沟通，可使同事之间、上下级之间增进了解和理解，形成人与人之间融洽和谐的关系，扫清相互间的沟通障碍。同事间平等相待，不仅要平等对待与自己意见相同的人，还要平等对待与自己意见相左者，容得批评，听得进逆耳之言。尤其对领导干部而言，更应注意不能独断专行，自以为是，要有礼贤下士的精神，有眼睛向下的态度，有听真话、求真言的渴望，有放下架子、甘当小学生的意识。还要善于运用灵活的方法启发对方发表意见，从而达到集思广益的目的，为正确决策提供可靠依据。同时，沟通也要注意坚持原则、讲党性、顾大局、守纪律，杜绝自由主义、私下交易等不健康的东西。做好同事间的沟通，选择沟通时机、寻找沟通的“切入点”很重要。人一般在心情愉快时比较乐于和他人交流，也相对容易接受外界信息。选择这个时机找其谈心，就容易使沟通顺利进行，取得良好的沟通效果。而在他人情绪低落、心烦意乱时，硬找人家谈，十有八九会吃“闭门羹”。有经验的思想工作者，大都善于寻找沟通的“切入点”，比如以共同感兴趣的话题、地域或心理上的接近性以及平和的态度与语气等打开谈话的“突破口”，从而使沟通交流顺利进行下去，最终达到增进团结、促进工作的目的。

Although it is true that much of interpersonal communication is goal-oriented,it is important for us to recognize that everyone is bringing a goal to communication and to open ourselves to the expressions,desires and needs of others.With a few simple techniques,you find that you are listening and being heard to a much more satisfactory extent.

Active Listening

Try to engage in active listening in all of your interactions.Active listening is a technique of truly listening to what a person has to say instead of anxiously waiting for your chance to talk again,according to Joe Landsberger's Study Guides and Strategies website.In active listening,you should focus on your speaker instead of other distractions like passing people or your cell phone,and be sure to make regular eye contact.This alerts your speaker that she is being heard,and she will feel that her own communication is more effective.

In active listening,one should not interrupt,and should respond only to what is the core argument of what the other person is saying.To help yourself,you may want to summarize what the other person has said or ask clarifying question,returning only later to points you wanted to make while the other person was talking with a proper segue.

“I”Statements

Use“I”statements to identify the points you are making as your own responses,views and feelings toward a situation.“You” statements signal that you are focusing on the other person's role and can either genuinely be,or be perceived as,accusing,according to the Conflict Research Consortium.By focusing on the way you feel or perceive a situation instead of how someone has forced you to feel this way,you can more effectively come to a solution because the other person doesn't feel burdened with external guilt.

Consideration

It is perfectly all right to pause in a conversation once your speaker has finished talking and say something like:“I'm going to need a moment to think about that.”People often say things that either subtract from or do not contribute to a discussion when they rush to respond to a statement before measuring it for its content and implications.Respond when you feel you have the best response,not with your initial gut reaction.

Even Tone

Try to keep an even tone in all of your conversations.If things do become heated,first bring your own voice level back to a normal conversational tone and continue to speak that way.Because we tend to mimic the way other people are communicating,this may on its own change the other party's tone.If it does not,ask that you both keep your voices low and de-escalate the emotional charge in the conversation.Although it is important to air your views,it is more effective to do so in an informational than emotional fashion,as facts can be debated and discussed but emotions cannot.

If nothing can seem to keep the conversation progressing civilly,ask to continue it at another time,when you have both had a chance to cool off and reconsider what the other person was saying as well as your own views and reactions.

Activity 1:Group discussion.

1.What is active listening?How could you implement this technique?

2.How could you keep an even tone in all of your conversations?

2.如何更好地进行商务沟通

商务沟通初期，根据掌握对方的信息多探讨对方感兴趣的话题，学会多聆听，多赞美认同，可以快速拉近双方的距离，让对方感觉到你和他有很多共同点，和你一起合作更容易取得双赢的效果，为后续的合作方案沟通营造宽松的商洽氛围。

1.在谈话中要学会多用“我们”慎用“我”、多用“为了我们更好地……”“你看……怎么样？”以表示尊重对方；赞美要真诚不能太直接免得让对方误解为故意讨好而反感。

2.在进行商务沟通之前，必定已准备了一套详尽的方案。作为项目负责人，在方案审核阶段必须要学会换位思考，看看己方给出的优惠是否足够诱人或者条件是否过分苛刻；要准备几套不同的方案，针对商务沟通情况做出相应的调整，以做到有备而来，沉着应对。

3.进行商务沟通时，一定要注重自己的仪表和礼仪，举手投足都要符合自己的身份。如果是商务团队出席活动，最好着装要统一，给人以整齐划一的感觉。无形之中会让对方留下公司管理有方，善于经营的良好印象，在竞争单位报价差不多的情况下，你就会脱颖而出。

4.在充分分析对方信息的基础上，采用红白两角，将己方的中部预期目标由红白两角抛出，使对方以为这就是己方的底线，温柔一刀给己方争取最大的利益空间。当然是否能够取胜，这取决于自己的情报工作和红脸白脸的演绎水平。

5.经过反复商洽和沟通，价格逐步妥协，已接近底线，无法让步时，不妨在服务上给予优惠（比如提供更完善的培训、提供更长的质保期限等）或许能够有所突破、促成合作。

To become an industry leader or even to simply advance in your career,you must master the art of communication,or the process in which individuals interact,exchange and interpret meanings.Mindlessly conveying information through idle chitchat is easy.Effectively communicating requires skill and finesse.In order to successfully communicate,you need to be able to present ideas effectively,persuasively,clearly and concisely.

Instructions

1　Understand the basic communication principles.Be clear about why you're communicating and then communicate your message without misunderstandings and confusion.Lessen the frequency of misunderstandings with clear,concise,accurate and well-planned communication.Consider your objectives since you must articulate it to achieve it.

●What do you want your audience to remember?(www.daowen.com)

●What do you want to convey?

●What do you want your message to achieve?

2　Know how to send the information in such a way that it can be correctly decoded by the receiver.Success in this depends upon both stating the information clearly,but also in anticipating and eliminating any potential sources for misunderstanding.Know your audience.Your message is being delivered to individual members of the audience,all of whom enter the communication process with his own ideas and beliefs which will undoubtedly influence his understanding of the message.

3　Understand the strengths and weaknesses of the different communication channels which include,but are not limited to,in person,phone,email and text.Make sure to use the appropriate channel for your message.For example,giving lengthy directions over the phone probably isn't the most effective route.Likewise,neither is providing negative feedback via email.Examine the strengths and weaknesses of all communication channels in relation to your message to ensure you choose the channel which will communicate the message the best.

4　Be receptive to feedback from your audience,especially when communicating in person or over the phone.Pay close attention to both verbal and non-verbal reactions to your message to help gauge if the audience has understood meaning of the information presented.Another way to increase your communication skills in business is by removing any barriers that may cause misunderstandings.Potential barriers to your message can be anything from being too lengthy,using the wrong communication channel,being disorganized in your presentation of the information,using poor verbal and non-verbal language,offering too much information too quickly,not understanding the audience's culture and not presenting a simplified and concise message.In addition to these general guidelines,you can hone your communication skills by focusing on more generalized areas of communication such as creating effective and lasting first impressions,conveying correct non-verbal body language,efficiently communicating verbally,actively listening,focusing on developing your writing skills and learning the proper etiquette for communicating through technological channels.

5　Re-emphasize your message through non-verbal communication.Only about seven percent of emotional meaning in a message is composed of the actual words and another thirty-eight percent is communicated through our tone of voice and voice inflection.This means fifty-five percent of our meaning in messages is conveyed through non-verbal communication which includes facial expression,gestures and posture.So even while you may be saying one thing,your body language may be expressing something completely different.Savvy professionals utilize non-verbal communication skills to build trust and rapport with customers and colleagues by keeping their body language consistent and congruent with their verbal message.To thrive in the business world,you must learn to not only convey your message verbally but also non-verbally.Use non-verbal communication consciously and intentionally to make it a source of power and strength in your business interactions.First,understand your non-verbal communication strengths and weaknesses then break down the components and practice impactful,consistent and natural execution beginning with eye contact.Try starting with the following:

●Examine your entrance into a room.Are you noticed when you enter a room?

●Do you offer your hand immediately when meeting someone regardless of race or gender?

●Do you consistently make eye contact with others when in meetings and throughout conversations?

●Do you tend to gesture in a distracting way that could hinder someone's ability to connect with you?

●Are the non-verbal signals you send clear and consistent with your message?Or are people generally confused as to where they stand with you?

●Are you aware of your facial reactions in different situations?

Our physical presence is the thing others notice when meeting us so make sure you exude energy,have correct posture,a firm handshake and make friendly eye contact.Learn to not only master your initial body language but also your reactions to others as well such as maintaining an impassive face when angered.Lastly,learn to match and mirror by adopting the manners and mannerisms of the person or people with whom you are interacting.Matching energy levels,facial expressions,tone of voice,vocabulary and pace is the quickest way to build rapport in the communication process.Non-verbal cues provide a context for interpreting the raw content of communication so you need to ensure that your verbal and non-verbal message remain in sync.

6 Revive verbal communication.Face-to-face communication will always be the best communication channel.Never underestimate the value of voice tone and the emotion carried through body language,especially when critiquing someone or providing negative feedback.If you are disagreeing with someone while your words may be expressing your disagreement,your tone,posture and eye contact may,at the same time,be expressing your value and respect for the other person's opinion.While a phone conversation is also a better channel of communication,it still falls a distant second to face-to-face interactions.We rely on the rich stew of non-verbal cues to interpret the meaning behind another's words and face-to-face meetings help offset potential barriers that could misconstrue the intended message.So,if you are ever in doubt about which method to use,communicating with someone face-to-face is always the safest and most effective method of ensuring your message is communicated effectively.If you have difficulty expressing yourself verbally,try some of the following to help sharpen your verbal communication skills:

●Watch verbal interactions in your office to listen to how individuals present ideas to clients,to hear the tone of voice and voice inflection used when presenting ideas and how points of difference are debated.

●Practice expressing your ideas to friends and family and have them critique you.Make sure you know whether they grasped what you were trying to convey or not.

●Get a part-time sales job to help you gain confidence in expressing yourself and verbally communicating with others.

●Utilize stories,quotes and jokes to help convey your message.

●Organize your ideas beforehand and prepare your message.

●Choose your words with care.Speak specifically,concisely and avoid careless language.

●Be positive in attitude and in word selection.

●Use vivid language,examples and remain upbeat and use a variety of voice tones to keep audience engaged.

●Tape yourself to better understand your unique communication style.

Mastering verbal communication develops personal growth and improves upon business relationships and interactions as well.Words have the power to create emotions and move people to take the action you desire.Capitalize on the power of verbal communication to help you achieve your career goals.

Activity 2:Group discussion.

1.How could you get feedback from your audience?

2.How do you think being able to communicate effectively through writing is an important skill to refine?